All Hyped Up, But Kinda Let Down

Honestly, I'm a bit disappointed with Lady Gaga's new music video 'Telephone' featuring Beyonce.

Like, seriously. Two entertainers of epic stage and performing proportions, with haystacks of awards tucked neatly under their diamond-encrusted belts, hit after hit after hit. Influential, industry powerhouses.

It's not just, so-and-so featuring never-heard-of-'im.

It's LADY GAGA featuring BEYONCE.

On a song.

Doing a music video.

Dancing together.

AWESOME does not begin to describe it.

However, I was let down. Not really crushed and devastated to the brink of no salvation. Just kinda... unpuffed... all the hype for nothing really much at all.

The video is around 9 minutes long, while the song is a typical 3 - 4 minute tune.So there was a bit of a storyline in the video, which goes like this:

Gaga was sent to this uber lesbian butch + gay guy (I dunno... the person she made out with looked like a guy, a gay one albeit) prison, whereby the female wardens look akin to wrestlers on steroids on steroids. She then takes a call from Beyonce, who then bails her out, and they go on their journey in the Pussy Wagon ala Kill Bill.

Peppered among these scenes are really cheesy and fake ( I dunno if it were the acting skills, or was the dialogue supposed to be so... bland) banters among the two leading ladies.

Some examples:

Lady Gaga gets into the wagon.

Beyonce: ' You've been a bad girl. A very very bad BAD girl, Gaga!'

OR

In the wagon driving

Lady Gaga: 'Sure you wanna do this Honey B?'

Beyonce: 'What do mean am I sure?'

Lady Gaga: 'You know what they say. Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger.'



WTH???!!!!

Who EVER SAYS THAT???!!!! It's like the worst script I have ever heard!

Continuation, they then stop at this diner where Beyonce meets up with this black dude, who's really obnoxious. She then puts some poison into his coffee, and he starts coughing. Meanwhile, Lady Gaga is cooking and dancing up a storm in the kitchen, and puts poison in all the food. After eating the contaminated edibles, all the diners in the diner (HUH?) die.

Some dancing.

Then they ride of into the sunset, hand in hand (LITERALLY. I hope Beyonce doesn't go lesbo...)

I hope this video was supposed to have some elements of comedy, because I was laughing through MOST of it.



PS. Good points in the next post.

Telephone is OUT!

Telephone

Call all you want,

But there's no one home,

Cuz your not gonna reach

My TELEPHONE


Release:

MARCH 11 (11: 30 PM)

*March 12 in Malaysia*

My Poem: Of Darstardly Beautiful Night Lights

I wanna traverse the lonely streets
Bathed in the illuminance of gold
As streetlamps flicker in my direction
And tell me I'm not alone

I wanna hobble down the cobbled path
Rhythmic footsteps the only sound
Enveloped in midnight blue
Embrace me
In your one-ring carousel

Maybe the sky whispers, words of pearls
Sentences of stars
Maybe the moon weeps, tears of silence,
Brought to me
On wispy gales of sleep

And as my feet grow tired, and my legs give way
Know this, that I'll always
Walk till I see the light of day

Rapping

You know who you are.

Everyone can rap, as can everyone who can speak, sing. It just depends how good you are at it.

The downside is, most rap songs suck. Even the so-called good ones. All you have to do is speak fast, maybe add some rhymes, and Voila! That's a rap!

And if you suck, you can probably call it your style.

Please. Some people are so full of themselves. Probably thinking, I'm the only fella in the world who can follow Jay Z's lyrics, or Kanye's verses, in all of their songs.

Ass. If another person were to do all those 'vocal trainings' you do, combined with the torturous effort of letting others suffer through it, THEY'LL probably turn out to be the next American Idol.

And there you are bragging.

What a douche.

Hey numbskull, ever wondered why most, if not all, successful chart-topping rap songs come with a catchy MELODIOUS TUNE-RICH CHORUS, ala Empire State of Mind, Run This Town and Do You Remember (Not pure rap, but with some elements in it)?

DUH. Who in their right frame of mind will sit and listen to an artiste mumble and grumble and tongue-slip their life for 4 minutes, maybe even 5? I'd rather listen to a self-help tape if I wanted to hear TALKING, and speed it up to hear RAPPING.

And ohyeah. Rappers write their own songs, and they create their own melodies. PLUS they sing it, and market it, and perform it. HENCE, Jay Z is JAY Z. Not you.

So please.

Inborn talent? More like lame ass hobby.

Get out of that big head of yours.



PS: You can't sing either. So just give up.
PPS: You can't channel talent by watching MTV all day.

Dealing With Stress 101

Stress is a very bad thing. Yes it is.

It comes up at the most harried of times, to nip you in the ass, and push you over the cliff of failure, laughing as you impale yourself amongst sharp pinnacles of despair, as you bleed out slowly, over time, until the clouds are stained red with evaporated blood.

Nope. Stress is not good AT ALL.

Now, people experience stress at all stages of their lives. It can be stress due to overeating, and gaining that few extra calories, thus turning you into a miniature land-going whale on steroids; or you could be suffering from study stress, whereby your brain capacity vastly under-ceeds the amount of information required to pass a certain exam, test, competition etc. in which case further overload may cause explosion, psychosis, erratic behavior, hair loss etc.

All of this may lead to DEATH.

No one likes to die young, or die, period. So listen to me. Haha.

Dealing with stress is very simple as long as you have the right tools. A proper mindset is obviously needed to overcome the pressing effects of, you said it, PRESSURE, brought about by, correct! , STRESS.

So how do you do it?

Many people come up to me and ask: Is it possible? Can I do it? Can it be stopped?

My answer is: yes, yes and YES!

Stress can be stopped!

Stress can be beaten!

Stress can be overcome!

All in SIX EASY DO IT YOURSELF STEPS!!!!












Once you buy my book for $ 999.99.
Shipping and taxes not included.

Disclaimer: Stress-reducing does not guarantee happiness or lower suicide rates. Book does not come with any self-fulfillment whatsoever, and any melancholy obtained from reading the material is solely imaginary. The author is not held to blame for any behavioral, psychological or mood changes experienced. Inability to overcome stress after using the material means you are a complete and utter failure. Or that you can't read. Either way, you suck.

White Horse

I just hope you know,

that everyone has a limit and a dateline
that the whole world doesn't lie in wait
for you.

I'm not a prince, and this ain't a fairytale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off his feet,
Lead him up the stairwell.

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer, before you went and let me down.

Now it's too late for you,
and your white horse
To come around

Ask me now