Sunday, June 26, 2011

We're All Gonna Go One Day, Might As Well Make It Worth the While


Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed


By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.




We're all going to die one day.

And what we'll bring along won't be the money we made along the way;


Nor the certificates we earned,

The cars we bought,

The penthouse we owned,

The managerial post we had to leave.


The one and only thing we'll bring along,

Is the love for others,

And the love others have for ourselves.


Smile a little, don't be dour.





You know who you are :)



Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hooker

I'm gonna drink my tears tonight,
I'm gonna drink my tears and cry,
Cause I know you love me, baby;
I know you love me, baby.

Just not enough.

Just not well enough.

Just not enough.



I could be girl, unless you want to be man;
I could be sex, unless you want to hold hands;
I could be anything, I could be everything;
I could be mom, unless you want to be dad.

Then throw me away,
To soak in the shit of my destitute.

I'm your hooker.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Kanasai


the fuck if I can smile, model and twist my body so the light from the window hits my angular face at the perfect angle to highlight my symmetrical features while carrying MY boxes. I'd be lucky I can even breathe

Kanasai, defined by UrbanDictionary as a Hokkien word meaning 'like shit'.

Well, today was really kanasai. It was kanasai like no sai has ever been kana-ed before. In fact kanasai would be putting it lightly, and I fear there may be no word in any existent language or dialect crude enough to describe it.

Today we had to move.

And move we did. We practically had to empty the contents of our room, and transfer it to a room that is similar in size, a block away. Sounds easy?

Well, it was definitely no fucking help that the freakin' procedure was so gruelling due to a 4 hour gap between the changing of rooms. A FOUR HOUR GAP.

Henceforth, the retards that we are had to sit like bloody refugees in a military camp, OUTSIDE of the new block where we're supposed to stay, to wait for the NICE, FRIENDLY, HELPFUL VILLAGE OFFICE STAFF to get their ass down to the office, and give us the damn keys to our room.

Wonderful. Absolutely fabulous.

Why treat us any better now, since you've been treating us like dogs before. I bet they've been going on like, "By golly, lets treat them like cows now! Throw them onto the friggin' field, and let us watch them graze their brains out. Hopefully they don't thread dirt into our flats and shit hay on the floor. Smashin' idea!"

Regardless of how shitty a day it has been, I had quite an epiphany this morning.

You see, I had 20 or so items to move out, consisting of two large luggages, two handcarry baggages, around seven boxes, duffel bags, sling bags, large full plastic bags and baskets filled to the brim.

And well... Have you ever seen me? Like, observed my physique? I have the shoulders of a pre-pubescent girl, the waist of a nymph and arms that hang limply like dessicated twigs. My legs are two spindly toothpicks trying to pass themselves off as usable limbs.

Darn it, and I thought I could fool people into thinking I was a girl!

Because the earth is round, therefore boys are supposed to carry their own bags. Not that anyone was raring to help me anyway. But, yeah.

So I slaved and dragged my belongings with whatever I could muster with this pathetic body. I panted, heaved, grunted, stumbled, pulled, push, kicked. Anything that could have made those damn things reach the top of the slope faster, I did.

And after an hour or so....... I did it.

It was all there. My boxes gleaming under the dreary sky, the pink/purple luggage standing proudly on the top of the hill, a testament to my effort.

And then it struck me.

This is life. Life as I will be facing very much soon. Life where no one gives a shit about what you're doing, how you're suffering. Where no one offers you a hand, unless you have a free arm to feed their mouths simultaneously as you grasp on to their calculating grip.

Everything I do, I do it by myself.

And everything I accomplish, I accomplished with my own hard work.

My blood, sweat, tears.

Those boxes I carried to the top of the hill. I did it MYSELF. And there were perfectly able guys, men who were stronger than me, taller than me, bigger than me, just strutting about as a struggled with my heavy stuff.

To be honest, this could have gone both ways. I could have sulked, cursed the world. Hate everyone for hating me, cry for being so unpopular.

Or I could just get my act up, and move the damn boxes.




Well, they're on the hill, aren't they? ;)




Karma. What goes around comes back around, my baby.
I would never wish unto you, what I myself wouldn't want unto me.
Thank you to those who helped me eventually. You didn't have to, but you did.

Like I said, karma.



Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Goodbye. I'll See You Around, Maybe Later, But Definitely.


Pluck a bullet out of the air,
Drive it into skin.
It'll still hurt as much,
As the realisation,
Of who pulled the trigger.

People come and go,
As the tides rush to the shores,
We live in a world,
Where being stagnant,
Just causes you to be swept along in the crowd.

Change.

Is devastating.
Is unpredictable.
Is terrifying.

Change.

Is rejuvenating.
Is growth.
Is life.

We need to change.
And change comes with the need to live.

So if tomorrow ever comes, and we say goodbye,
Remember it's for the best.
Because the time spent apart,
Only allows us to appreciate the time spent together.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Ticks, Parasites


Ticks are parasites that feed on the blood of animals, including humans. They transmit the widest variety of pathogens of any blood-sucking arthropod. Tick-bourne diseases include Lyme disease, ehrlichiosis, babesiosis, rocky mountain spotted fever, tularemia and tick-bourne relapsing fever.

Fun fact: During feeding, ticks can sometimes get so engorged on blood, they more than quadruple in size, causing them to be immobile.

When detached and squeezed, they explode with a deliciously squishy 'Pop', releasing blood and other gore contained within their vacuum bag-like posteriors.

Interesting yet disgusting creatures, these insects are.

It would be fun to watch how enlarged they can get on their own,
before they reach capacity,
and blow up.

:)


Fear the Prospect, of Being Too Late

Part of the survival mechanism bestowed upon us by evolution is our ability to shut out death from our thoughts. By stifling active concepts of dying within the brain, we essentially live free from the vice-like recognition of our ever-impending doom.

We are dying, yet blissfully unaware of it.

From within this induced retardation emerges the sense of immortality. In short, we forget how fragile life is.

We live life without appreciation, without thought to the person next to us. We take things for granted because we assume it will always be there.

We rob, we steal, we lie.

We hurt others not because we're evil, but because there lingers the untruth of the presence of time to make things right.

We take people to be always there, stagnant, living, in limbo; Till death decides to make its mark, will we realise it's too late.

We'll never get to say the things we've wanted to say all along.

Make right the wrongs we've done.

See their faces.

Hear their voice.

Feel their touch.

Never. Ever.

And what remains will be the dusk of their days; regrets left to ponder, words left to stew, under the glare of ignorance and the heat of mortality.

We dig our own graves, graves of remorse, with each passing moment we don't say to someone, what we really want to say to them.

So, call up your love ones, your friends, your exes.

Tell them what they mean to you, and you to them.

For fear not the shame, nor the cost;
Fear not their sentiments, nor their replies.
Fear not the rejection, nor the ridicule.

Fear only the prospect,
of being too late.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I Shall Be An Angel To Your Demons

Tears.
Anguish.
Fear.
Ache.

Lay your worries unto me,
Rest your weary head.

Fury.
Injustice.
Pride.
Loss.

For I shall bear your burden,
In your sins, I toil.

Merriment.
Hope.
Promise.
Love.

Where in those, do I stand?
For now I'm left with nothing,
But desolated dreams in sand.

Memory.
Lingering.
Dissipation.
Gone.

Past these primes of glory,
Forgotten and forlorn.