Frankly

Am I mean?

Do I stare you up and down with a condescending look?

Does my arrogant, emotionless gaze make you squirm?

Am I haughty?

Unfortunately, the answer to the questions above is an undeniable YES, especially by people who don't know me so well.

Ooooh, I can hear them saying. 'You better work on your attitude, boy!', 'No one likes a stuck up pussy prick!', or worse yet 'You'll have NO FRIENDS!!'

ARGHHHHHH!!!!

And here I am, thinking I was King of the World.
Ah well. Looks like I have my flaws too. LOL

Anyway, jokes (albeit sarcasm) aside, I admit I tend to portray the image of a prissy bitch. I have no idea why. *Probably it's because my life is sooooo sad, and there is a hole in my heart that possesses an insatiable thirst for love that will never occur. Pfffffttttttttt*

Although, deep down, I know I sometimes hurt people, unintentionally. Which is really unbecoming and rude obviously.

So, I have devised Alex's Top 5 Rules to Overcoming Your Inside Bitch:

• Smile more ( Although in my case, i better smile less, because instead of reacting in outrage, people actually react in fear to my smile)

• Say your pleasantries (Like, Good Morning, or Thank you, or How Do You Do?) - and mean them. It's frustrating when someone asks you How Are You? when they don't give a shit about how you are.

• Don't raise your nose too high ( It might only apply to me. Sometimes when I walk, I raise my nose. Dammit.) This is also a good tip, in case a knife-wielding robber happens to streak past, and your inviting caverns serve as vantage point for the tip of his weapon.

• Touch people more ( I realized that old folks and young children like to be reassured, and sometimes all they need is a light pat on the back, or a friendly hug. EVERYONE NEEDS THAT)- PLUS, you connect more intimately with people. But don't be a pedophile. Please. I'm not condoning molestation.

• Speak in a polite, level tone. No one likes to be shouted or nagged at. 'Nuff said.

So there are my top five ways. It's not foolproof. It's not a golden ticket to being popular. But it's MY way of becoming, at least, a nicer friendlier person.

Of course, there will be some that will still hate you regardless of what you do. I guess all you can do in this situation is say you're sorry for whatever you've wronged them by, and walk away.

OR you can slap the mothafaka shit out of their sonovabitch tight assholes and let them suck on sticks slathered with dung as thick as a donkey's dick.

Your call.

Either way, I just want to apologize if anything I did, said or expressed made you feel anything but joy. It wasn't my intention and I did not mean unwell. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Adieu!