Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Indignation




It's times like these when I understand how she feels.

Sacrificing so much,
Pouring sweat, blood, tears.

Yet she doesn't get the retribution she deserves. Not enough gratitude, acknowledgment.

It's no surprise when a breakdown ensues.

You get angry with the world.

You see life in a tinted red; enemies scurried away in those you came to know as friends. You tend to shy away, to run; For fear of hurting those that marred your heart.

You tend to cry alone; Because crying is a sign of weakness.

Anger. Spawns a deluge of emotions, for its fiery temper, weakens the gates of control to the barrage of feelings once horded safely away.

Anger. Wrath. Rage. Fury.

Please, do not hold me hostage.

Dance In The Dark.



Silicone


Saline

Poison

Inject me


Baby, I'm a free bitch.


She looks good, but her boyfriend says she's a mess.

Find your freedom in the music.
Find your Jesus, find your Kubrick.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Mousetrap, Where Your Cheese is Esconed in Honey-glazed Lies

Society is a medieval contraption well-versed in the mojos of merciless hypocriticism.

First, it preaches equality, freedom and acceptance.

Then, they categorize based on first impressions.

When you fall out of expectation, you're labelled as a fake.

And when you do comply with their given image... Well.. That's what's wrong with you in the first place, isn't it?

You can never win.

Smile, Laugh, Cry, Lie Down Destitute.

For His sake, forsworn into it,
The timing of being, of the particular date.
Within the twelve governers,
Born of mutable fire.

Namesake, be it Leader of Men,
Lest hides behind, timid reflections.
For for his pain, embarrassment, really,
Dost a pitiful entity.

Said to be joy, said to be life,
Inscribed within the sign, in his strife.
Yet when flame is dampened, ashes cooled,
Who is there, to catch the embers, wipe the soot?

Hark, the embodiment of a weary traveller,
Traversing naught but those required.
Dictated, live-not, to that bestowed,
Fate has dealt, for one, a mistaken blow...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

When I grow up...

I wanna be a rock star.
I wanna have a million bucks.
I wanna live in a penthouse with a built-in skateboarding floor.

When I grow up...

I wanna travel the world.
I wanna ride on the wings on winds.
I wanna see the gales and touch the breeze.

When I grow up...



And now that I'm halfway through,

I realize that some dreams are meant to stay that way,

Like the fleeting gust you try to hold on to

Lest it slips through your fingers,

And you wonder if it was ever there in the first place...


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Speechless



"I'll never talk again,

I'll never love again,

I'll never write a song,

Won't even sing along.."


Favorite song quote -

"Could we fix you, if you broke?"

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Happiness

Happiness is when...

They care,
You noticed,
She remembered,
He expressed.


Happiness is when...

They laugh,
And you laugh with them,
Because you don't see any reason not to.


Happiness is when...

Money is worthless,
And the company you get,
Is priceless.


Happiness is when,

You took the time,
To think about me,
About my happiness.


THANK YOU!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Epiphany!

Was napping. Had an epiphany! How quaint!

Just a random question, but filled to the brim with meaning.

You know all those people you surround yourself with everyday?
The ones you laugh with, have lunch with, the ones you sit next to in class?

Yeah, those.

Ask them.

"If you really knew me, you would know that...."

See if they can complete that sentence accurately.

Ask yourself.

Think about it.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

DISMISSED, PEEr NOne, in DISMial

Fury enveloped what hath fate cast you,
For you do not believe in unfairness.
Dreams are meant to be chased,
Instead bogged down by exceeding expectations.

For the mind has wrought,
What the physical now portrays.

Excuses, excuses excuses!

Breath is hot, yet cools when in contact with gusts of wind,
To rock the moldy air.

YOU SUFFER WITH YOUR INSECURITIES FOR YOU ARE A COWARD.

Pathetic.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Just Some Thoughts

Funny. Today a long lost friend of mine called up, and we had a nice delectable chit-chat on whatnots and the like. So here we were yapping like retarded monkeys on meth when she started to elaborate upon her frustrated views on a certain situation she was caught up in.

In her predicament, she and a bunch of people were given a group assignment. HENCE, diverse as the human race is, in the multitude of personalities it encompasses, there were several fallouts within the group itself.

Basically, some people were doing all the work, some people were self-elected dictators, while others sat nilly-willying their time till Kingdom come.

Which got me thinking.

There's two kinds of people in the world. Planners and Executors.

Now, almost anybody you encounter will fall into either one of the two groups. Some can safely blend both while others are strictly monogamous.

Planners are, as obvious as the name implies, planners. They plan. They look at the long term goal, and lay out the path ahead. Before each project, they run a headcount. They build departments and divide cubicles. They set heirachies and the pyramid workload. In short, they compartmentalize. The present and the future.

Executors are those that keep the project running. Executors are known for their determination, single-mindedness and diligence. They work within the rules, and are substantially good at what they do. If executors are the cogs, planners provide the blueprint and oil.

Obviously in a team, a good leader would be a Planner/Executor hybrid. One that takes charge with groundrules set to counter future obstacles yet able to shoulder the hard work in stride, efficiently.

However, not everyone is born a HYBRID, and problems WILL arise when these two groups start to take roles that contradict their personality.

As different as apples and oranges are, Planners cannot be efficient Executors and vice-versa.

You see, Executors lack the vision and eye to detail, while Planners are.... sad to say... poor workers. They break everything down into the smallest, most minute particle, while ignoring the big picture, which is GETTING THE JOB DONE. Basically, they live too far in the future.

Executors, on the other hand, strive too much in the present to be able to glimpse the culminative effect of their actions.

THEREFORE, having an Executor on the top running everything is detrimental to the project. He/She will focus too much on what the work at hand is, they forget what they are working towards. This is equivalent to building a monument without ever taking a step back to look at your progress until the last brick is laid. By then it will be too late.

MEANWHILE, having a bunch of Planners under you is a just reason for suicide. They will bicker and scream and wail about the long-term goal, the future prospects, what we should be doing tomorrow, the day after, how the project will be capped off... Without ever doing any actual work.

So, in a team, for a project to be done in an organized, well-oiled manner, a balance between the two must be set.

An ideal team would obviously consist of a 1:3:7 (Hybrid: Planner: Executor) ratio (In hindsight though, Hybrids are domineering, controlling and rather hard-headed, if not ill-tempered and take great pride in being bossy. Hence it is always advisable to have only ONE Hybrid per team) per team of ten, which will give it a 10 to 30 to 70 % composition, which can then be applied to any amount of team members.

PLUS, TO BE HONEST, anybody with the right information can run a team. The person need not necessarily be a Hybrid, rather someone who knows the composition of the team and is able to relegate the tasks early beforehand.

**Remember, a leader is someone who does a job by getting others to do it for him. The more efficient the process is, the better the leader.

So there, these are my views on some human characteristics, and I hope that they prove useful, be it now or in the impending future. And always, always keep this with you:

When in a team, the WORST unjust you can do is to WASTE MANPOWER.


Everyone can be utilized to their full potential which will contribute positively to the end product, no matter how "irrelevant" you think that person is.

The only reason why YOU think a person IRRELEVANT under your direction is that YOU yourself is being IRRESPONSIBLE towards your RESOURCES, which shows your lacking.

Think about it.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Clarification

I have had some queries thrown at me, about my 'poems' (I wouldn't call them that. They're just versed insight), that they're too deep, too bombastic, they don't make sense at all.

Actually they do. They're pretty straightforward. The trick is to find the theme and interpret every line.

Don't try the whole verse. Those are far and few in between.

So, for clarification's sake, I've decided to decipher part of an earlier post.

My Refusal: Morning Star

(in this case, Morning Star can either be referred to as something seen briefly before being overwhelmed by a similar essence, an object that exists yet is not seen, cloaked by something that radiates more brilliance, yet shines the brightest when times are dark. ALSO, Morning Star is the name of Lucifer, aka Satan, Devil.)

For has the hands of Man,
(Man's interpretation of you,)

Shaped you into what divine dictates,
(Molded you into what they perceive as almighty and all-powerful,)

For has the lies they weaved,
(The indoctrination, rituals and fear instilled into people,)

Turned you around on your pedestal,
(Made you into a double being, different, yet worshiped as the same,)

Into a puppet cloaked with omnience, terrifying glory.
(Pretty self-explanatory: Their demand that you present yourself as all-knowing, all-seeing, giving you a sort of sadist's glory.)

So yeah. I hope you guys understand it, and... I dunno. It pretty much explains itself =)

Ciao!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

30th November, A Day to SMILE!!!!



Someone told me I look fierce.

Just as I was thinking happy thoughts.

How ironic...

He said my face looked crossed between constipated and frozen in murderous intent.

&&$#@^!!!!!!

So I'm gonna personally declare tomorrow as Alex Will Smile and (Try to) Not Show Constipated or Frozen Murdering Face Day.

Or AWS(T)NSCFMF Day.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Predicament.

Time was there, so I willed it away. At Subang Parade's MPH bookstore.

The store is pretty big, lots of books, quite comfortable, so decided to hang around and read. (Yes, I know, pretty cheap of me)

Was walking around, when I noticed this boy handling some packets of collectible football cards. Just turning the packet around, bending it slightly (I'm familiar with these gestures as I used to be an avid collector of Pokemon cards myself *NERD ALERT!* and I usually test the packet by bending it to see if there are any rare holo cards in it)

So, no harm there. BUT, something about his demeanor made me take notice. I don't know if it was his weird ass hair ( He's about 5-ish, I dunno. Terrible at guessing age. His hair was in a mock mohawk) or maybe some sort of psychic aura-detecting inborn ability, but I was paying attention to him.

Quietly, he slipped the product into his pocket.

Now, I didn't do anything. I don't know whether to call myself a coward, or whatever, but... I dunno... I couldn't.

Number 1: He was so young!!!

How can I do that to a young boy? Reporting him to any authority may cause him lots of embarrassment, lest disciplinary action.

I've been a small boy before, and let me tell you. Even a frown from a stranger can cause lots of tears and years of trauma and bed-wetting (Don't ask).

Don't even get me started on punishment meted out by the parents.


Number 2: I didn't want to cause a scene.

Little boys may be young, but they're not stupid. Any street smart child will be able to twist turn their way out of a sticky situation. Then his parents will be after my neck, not to mention the commotion if Mr and Mrs Shoplifter Senior decides to openly condemn me. I can just imagine:

"What ah? You calling my son a thief la now?"

"No.. I mean...I saw him take..."

"You saw, you saw, means is real meh? Got any witness anot?"

"The thing was found in his pocket..."

"So what? Ha? Maybe he accidentally le? You big ass boy, why always want to bully small kid? Very syok is it?"

"......"

" You see la everybody *Raises Voice* this young man ar, little kid also want to bully! Should be ashamed! Shame shame la you!"

Sigh.... feeling guilty now. Maybe I SHOULD have told him off.

Sorry MPH... =(

Wonders of the Night

Twinkle twinkle little star,
Light up the world beyond me,
Cloak them in your gaze,
As I wander the streets alone.

Twinkle twinkle little star,
Illuminate the wispy breeze,
Let the cool air reflect,
The stillness that refuses to apparate.

Midnight moon,
Caress silver rooftops,
Smile upon my future path,
That leads me upon the road.

A journey of the night.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Perspective Through Lens of Minute Proportions.



This is a girl...




Living amongst the crowd...





Of a city...




In a country...




That spans the globe...




On planet Earth...




The third rock in the Solar System...




One of the many in the Milky Way...





Scattered widely across the Universe...




Which could be as big as this billiard ball.





Think about it.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Fat Cats Live in My Abs

I believe that deep within the sub-organ packages of my anatomy, lie busty felines ready to pounce.

Fat cats live in my abs.

THAT'S right. Cats in my abs. Fat ones, nonetheless.

'But that makes no sense, there's no logic to it!'
'Oh, it is medically impossible'
'You're just making up stupid titles to get people to read your lame ass blog!'
'Mine is a dog.'

Oooohh, I can just hear all your mocking, that perverse whiny little Humbug that pervades your sick mentality. It just raucously complains and whines and gripes within your cranium, and you're obliged to follow suit. Another cog in the SOB MACHINE.

Well, plug it sister. First of all, there is logic to it, since I'm hearing it meow in hunger RIGHT THIS MOMENT (And if you would kindly place your ear to my tummy, it may graciously set off a hair-raising shriek that will permanently damage your hearing and claw at your already unpalatable face).

AAAAND, I don't make up lame ass titles just so that people will READ my BLOG! *pffffttt!!* now where would you get that idea... haha... my titles are witty... haha... aren't they?.... hahahaha... haha.h..a...ha.... *darnnit!*

By the way, everyone KNOWS that dogs can't live in your stomach. So there. *Snickers* What a DUMBASS!

*roll eyes*

So, annoying grumpy old people aside, some fat ass cats live in my gut. They need to be fed constantly, and in large amounts too! (Since there are seven of them, each morbidly obese with their own individual characteristics.)

One is called
Miao, since that's about the only sound she makes, and she claws at my gut lining everytime she gets hungry (which is often, duh!). Her brother is Grrraaahhhh, since THAT'S the sound HE makes when his sister is hungry, which coincidentally makes him hungry too.

The other five are Grrrmmmp,
Slish Splash, Gurgle, Uhrrmm and GiokGiok. They do make some noise at times, but are mostly silenced by the siblings, since Miao's and Grraaahhhh's arses take up 95% of leg room in my stomach anyway.

On a sidenote,
Slishy doesn't like water. He complains when I drink and jump about, because it messes up his fur. (Yeah, he's the vain one. And probably gay too. Gurgle's always been known to 'back him up'. Get it? 'BACK him up'? *nudgenudgewinkwink*

So there you have it. My costly furry friends that reside within me, and that I have to carry around everywhere I go. Always crying out at the worst times, trying their best to stuff me full with edibles I don't need.

I hate them. >:(



P.S the cute emoticon above is an angry face. Can you see it? The cute > for a frown and the eyes, and the mouth. It's adorable right? haha.

I Wish

I wish that time,
Plods in my pace unison,
Instead of flying headlong.

I wish that Earth,
Stops spinning,
To contemplate life and its denizens.

I wish that night,
Would light up the sky,
For us to admire the midnight blue.

I wish that day,
Dims its glare,
To allow the stars to shine through.

I wish that life,
Would live itself,
And allow others to live through it.

I wish that death,
Wears a bell,
To hinder its silent creeping.

I wish that people,
Will stop being people,
And start being human.

I wish that the world,
Remains dormant for eternity,
In its quest for hatred and war.

Finally,

I wish that love and peace,
Wasn't a slogan,
Instead a lifestyle.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ask Me. I May Just Destroy You. With My Answer, That Is.

It's ME Time!! (As usual.. again)

Okay okay, so what have I been up to... lets count thy ways...

Classes, classes, classes, followed by driving, driving and more driving, TV, toilet, back to TV, lunch, TV, computer, then more TV, dinner... and Voila! here I am now!

Surprise surprise!! Hopefully this turn of events did not drill it's way through the eternal regime of your junta-orientated life!! (I'm being sarcastic here. Please, tell me when it's hard to read, that I'm turning into a cantankerous old geezer)

Ok, so, seriously. Obviously this post shall not turn into another one of my E.M.O affairs or some weird poetry only Mayan sundials can decipher. Nope. No. This post shall be meaningful, insightful, entertaining and downright educational. (Maybe not educational... or entertaining, or any of the above for that matter. But hey, who's counting?)

So, lets play a game today. I'm gonna go on the Internet and find some frequently asked questions about LOVE. (That's right. Lets get into the nitty gritty of relationships and sex and all kinds of baggage crap that comes along with it.)

And lil ol' ME, is gonna answer them all. *Big fake creepy smile*

Let the questions.... BEGIN!!!



Question 1: I like my best friend a lot, but I don't wanna mess up our friendship. What should I do???

Answer: Hmm... good question. Maybe you could follow the examples of tons of people who are successfully shoving their heads right up their asses and pretending the world around them is just a pathetic illusion meant to confuse their lovestruck senses!

OR, you could take the easier route and justtell him/her/it how you feel. Obviously a good friend is a friend not smitten with you, nor trying to get into your pants.

Think of it. Being a friend is hard work. AND I DON'T mean the happy-happy-joy-joy kinda friend. I mean the real down and dirty, into the mud, kind of friend.

The kind that will be there when he needs you.

The kind that he'll share his innermost secrets and desires with.

The kind that'll call you up at 3 in the morning just to tell you somthing he's been mulling about.

The kind that'll keep telling you how wonderful his new girlfriend is.

The kind that'll tell you his latest crush, his latest date, his wedding day.

All this, while you sit hearbroken in the corner, listening to him talk about how silky smooth his new girlfriend's hair feels between his fingers.

What kind of friend are you?

What kind of LIFE is that?

Obviously the one that cannot be there 100 percent, for your mind is lingering and your heart is longing. The one that cannot fulfil dreams, be it his or yours, for your spirit is somewhere between the divider of the present and what-ifs.

So there. Friends should share everything. Even their feelings for each other. And if he/she/it is a true friend, he/she/it will produce the capacity to understand even if things do not work between you two.

So open up, and life may just throw some delightful surprises at you.

Ciao!

Next question in the next post. This post is freakin long! Sometimes I feel I talk too much...

DISCLAIMER: THIS METHOD DOES NOT NECESSARILY WORK FOR EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY THE EMO, THE PREGNANT AND THOSE WITH KIDS. FOR OTHERS, RESULTS MAY VARY.

Heehee =P

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm Not Searching, Just Looking.

Remember when you saw those cute pair of heels, that sparkly dress, and you HAD to so try it on? You walk into the store, and the stuck-up bitch behind the counter wouldn't give you time of day. *Besides, her hair sucks. AND her shirt is too TIGHT for her. Plus, her butt STICKS OUT. so there.*

So you give her a mental finger, walk over, grab your desired, head to the dressing room.

It doesn't disappoint.

If Glam could see you now, you'll be in her definition.

Your curves meld into the sequins like supple cream, assets without being trashy, accentutating those see-ables, ironing out the kinks, dispelling rolls.

Simply fabulous.

And then you walk out, and the dress goes back on the coat rack.

Why??? Why in the dumb fark world will you do that?? Did a pitbull manage to sneak into that big ass ear hole of yours and chase it's tail in the cavity supposed to hold your brain? OMG, did someone shove something thick and hard and bullet-ready up any crevice available in your fat dumbo doughnut tire appendage you call a body?

Are you sick?
Are you broke?
Here here, take my credit card!!
Oh shit... you're dying aren't you? What is it? Cancer? AIDS? Malaria?
why? Why? WHy? WHY????? WHY??????



>
>>
>>>
>>>>



Lemme think ......................................................................

bECAUSE....


I'm not searching. Just looking.

So there.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Refusal: Morning Star.

For has the hands of Man,
Shaped you into what divine dictates,
For has the lies they weaved,
Turned you around on your pedestal,
Into a puppet cloaked with omnience, terrifying glory.

For you do not need worship,
For I refuse to bow.
For you do not need ceremony,
For I decline to attend.

For benevolence is bestowed,
As though mother to child,
For there is nothing required to earn,
That requires redemption, falling foul.

O! They taint you,
Reeking of deceit,
Playing off foreboding,
Guttering trust.

Indoctrination, inescapable,
Until reality reveals itself,
Into the truth it really is.

Henceforth, I refuse.

Alas, save me!

However, why would a transient omnient being exist with totalitarian rule inscribed onto scrolls followed as law?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I Miss You

Advocates for our memories,
Fought for the demise of my ignorance.
Time has been cruel, to our past
We stumbled on the idiosyncrasies,
Whether it will last.

Caricatures of images,
Splash dank backdrops of silence,
Punctuated, perforatory,
Only by sudden screams of longing.

It's always harder the second time around,
Wasted by the bubbling brook,
We termed our playground.
Waves, blade sharp,
Carved their incessant swirl,
As blood pooled at our feet.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Postponed



The world premiere of "Video Phone" extended mix from Beyonce featuring Lady Gaga has been pushed back to a date later in November.

Fans were treated to a no-show after counting down with countdown clocks featured on Lady Gaga's blog and MTV News, among others.

Fans were also given a limp wrist slap in the face when MTV Buzzworthy Twitters cited technical difficulties with the music video as a lame fake pacifier to those who stayed up or waited around for the video to go on.

Looks like loyal fans were treated with a few more days of time wasting. Way to go!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Lady Gaga and Beyonce Collabo




"Video Phone", a track featured on Beyonce's I Am... Sasha Fierce album will be premiering its music video at 5.30 p.m. on the 5th of November on MTV.

Lady Gaga will be featured in the video, and may have a few lines of her own in the track! Yay!!

All in all, it will be a fantastic collaboration!

*Due to the difference in time zones, Malaysia will probably get its first dose of Gaga-Beyonce sometime later on the 6th of November, Friday.*

Ahhhhh, can't wait!!! *fanboyism* *faint*

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Some Random Funny Stuff off the Net

Title says it all.

Enjoy =)


















Wounded Heart

Does a wounded heart ever heal?
Or is it engulfed by layers of indifference, ignorance, perpetuality and grief.
Until a malice of proportionate strength, slices through, To reveal the gaping gash underneath.

And you realize,

It never once stopped bleeding...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My Tired Rant...

I am a reasonable person.

I don't ask for whimsical impossible things at God-forsaken hours.
All I want are basic human requirements. Sustenance, peace, quiet, company.
That you can't even provide without turning my life into a living hell.

Why are you always so angry? Angry at life, angry at me?

Your fury hath unraveled what years of goodwill hath wrought.

I am not perfect, I know. But at least I apologize. At least I show it, to others, that of my guilt.

Not you. Never you.

It's always never your fault. Who therein lies, the burdened beast of your unrelentless blame? You have no idea how much i tried. WE have had to sidestep so much of our lives, just to keep YOU happy. Sometimes I wonder, have you ever stopped and reflect upon the selfish, vain, thunderous monster you have become?

Have you ever thought about how your actions, your words, are beginning to affect the people around you, the people who love you the most?

I am sick of it. As a human being, I am sick of being treated this way.

Sacrifice? I guess you've decided to collect payment due through our misery. MY misery. Although I know no matter how much I suffer, I will not be able to begin repaying you.

Cringeworthy, those bespoken from lips unfettered...

I'm sorry if I'm too much of a burden. I'll be gone soon.

I love you.

Bad Bad Romance


Work work fashion baby, work it I'm a free bitch babeh!!!

Can I adore this chick any greater?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Rihanna: Good Girl Gone Blerrhhh....


Rihanna is great.

She practically exploded onto the scene in 2007, revamped with a dominatrix-inspired makeover, taking over music charts worldwide with the phenomenal hit "Umbrella" from the album Good Girl Gone Bad.

Slew after slew of hits. "Shut Up and Drive", "Don't Stop the Music", "Take A Bow", "Disturbia" and a variety of big name collaborations, including T.I. and Jay Z.

I must admit, I was a huge fan.

With that bad ass hairstyle and biker-chic-haute-couture attitude, Rihanna was definitely one artiste I greatly admired.

Until now.

In her defense, her new album "Rated R" is yet to be released, however the first single off that album, "Russian Roulette" was a lackluster affair for me.

Where's the spunk, the anger, or as Beyonce will put it, the Sasha Fierce?

Currently, her second single "Wait Your Turn" can be found on the Internet, and it sounds waaaaay worse. In fact, it sounds like second grade pop, songs that are randomly played in malls by whats-her-name.

Sigh... hopefully this is a marketing gimmick of a mellow start to up the ante of the album with the future release of a third monster-potential single from Rated R.

All I can do is wish.

Take a listen and decide for yourself:

Russian Roulette:



Wait Your Turn:

His Fetid Breath

What would you do, if you met him?

As his steps draw closer,
As he gazes into your eyes,
As his lips brushes yours,
As the mere sensation of his fingers
Sends tingles into your innermost soul.

What would you do,

If you met with Death?

What would you wish for?

Money, fast cars, women, alcohol, sex.

Would all those matter?

They mattered during the journey, yet laid down their worthlessness at the end.

Things. Material things.

Have robbed us devoid of any life.

Death is within the physical we spend our life to achieve and obtain.

Think about it.

New Layout, New Crap

There.

It's done.

Took me a few hours of alternating Facebook, Youtube and Blogger customizing screens, but I finished it.

MY NEW LAYOUT!!!

*Okay, okay, for you pros out there, I know this is probably kid stuff to you. For an Internet inept like me, I practically discovered gravity all over again.*

So there.

New layout, new posts.

More crap.

Take it like a man, dude.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Clash of The Titans: Naruto Vs. Bleach!

WARNING: POST CONTAINS MINDNUMBING NERD RANT ABOUT JAPANESE COMICS. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE BOMBARDED BY SUCH IDIOCITY, PLEASE LEAVE THIS PAGE...NOW!!!

Okay, I admit. I'm a manga freak. I like reading a good manga now and then. It helps me unwind after a long hard day, and also fills up my time during the boring hours of nothingness.

So during this holiday, I made full use of my time and read the whole of Naruto's 400+ manga chapters.

Now, I've always been a Bleach fan. Byakuya, Kyoka Suigetsu, Suzumushi, Renji, Rukia, Omnisukido; If the manga has it, I'll know it. The cool zanpakutos, shuunpo, taichos, hadou, reiatsu. My gosh, I can go on and on and on...

I always thought Naruto was kinda... childish. I mean, a protagonist with whiskers? Gimme a break!

How wrong I was.

After reading through all the existing chapters starting from the first, I have to admit Naruto is a waaaay better manga compared to Bleach. Essentially, I'm a convert!

I love the storyline, the plot, how the characters are fleshed out, and the humanity behind the entire series. Basically, a connection is formed between the fictional characters and the reader.

So instead of rambling on and on about how great a manga Naruto is blah blah blah, let me condense it down into point form for easy understanding:





NARUTO

Likes:

  1. Every character is given a chance to shine and show their prowess.
  2. Even though the story obviously centres around Uzumaki Naruto, he does not overshadow the others.
  3. A huge variety of bunshins, jutsus and techniques are applied, with each opponent having a specific set of fighting style, elemental attack and individualized tricks.
  4. Great storyline.
  5. Artwork is nice.
  6. Characters are fleshed out very convincingly.
  7. Characters die!! (I'm not a sadistic or morbid person. I hate mangas where everybody lives happily ever after - sic. Bleach, Dislikes)

Now for the Dislikes:

  1. Whiner Sasuke is still NOT dead.
  2. Fight scenes are somewhat messy.
  3. Explanation of skills, plans etc. are sometimes TOO LONG AND DETAILED (boring!) or there is NONE AT ALL (WTH??).
  4. Names are confusing, some characters look too much alike. *Brain problem on my part, haha*





BLEACH

Likes:

  1. Cool characters, I especially like the rankings - Taicho, fukutaicho, soutaicho. Gives it kinda like an elite squad-feel.
  2. Interesting array of zanpakuto techniques and skills.
  3. The storyline is quite arresting.

Dislikes:

  1. Whole story focuses too much on Ichigo (Why won't he die already??!!!), it's getting very tiresome.
  2. You'll know with a sure heart that certain characters will NOT DIE, regardless of how strong their enemy is *coughcoughIchigocoughHitsugayacough*
  3. Ichigo and other manga-immortals always gain some stupid nonsensical power-up that saves their sorry asses in the nick of time from death. Example: Ichigonator when battling Ulquiorra. WTH was that??!
  4. Some interesting characters are killed off too fast (Top 3 espadas) while the lame shits are all the victors (Ichigo, who else?).
  5. Some characters are not protrayed properly and not described thoroughly. Maybe it's the plot, but hey, readers can't connect with characters that have no proper past or are just thrown in for fodder!
  6. Fight scenes sometimes messy.
  7. Story is not that complex, but too draggy. Lots of boxes where characters are just standing there looking emo or cool.
  8. I dread chapters with Ichigo in them. Enuff said.

So there. Those are my views against these two very different mangas, in terms of portrayment and artistic direction. So I can't exactly compare between the two. However, I can list out things I liked and disliked about them, and tell you which one I enjoyed most.

Till date, it's Naruto.

Yay!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Forbidden Love

Maybe once,
We tasted fruit so forbidden,
Even the heavens could not deny our longings.

Maybe once,
Throes of our passion,
Threw the earth apart - an unhealing scar.

Maybe once,
Our spirits lingered,
Our souls thirsted, for unbridled whispers
And promises.

Maybe once,
We loved.

For this love is forbidden,
For this heart is esclamped, within briers,
Of bigoted damnation,
Of confounding idiots,
Of hatred.

A verb enclosed within its antonym.

Will it survive, this forbidden love?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Cheerleading!!!!

I feel like such a low-life nerd. First thing in the morning, logging on to the computer, playing free online games. LOL.

Cheerleading competition was yesterday. Trained for the past few months to cope with last night's 6 minute performance. When you think about it, it's kinda absurd, the amount of effort you put in versus the fruit of your labour.

HOWEVER, I feel it was all worth it. Every hour, every minute, every second.

To tell the truth, I liked going to practice. I still remember in the beginning it was every Monday and Wednesday. Then switched, I think, to Monday, Tuesday and Thursday or something like that.

I dunno. Cheerleading practice gave me a sense of... how do you put it... purpose(?) *Told you I had NO LIFE*.

Okay okay, maybe not 'purpose', but kinda like a sense of belonging and camaraderie.


REASONS WHY I LOVE TO GO FOR PRACTICE:

1) I like to dance and move around. If I sat still at home, I might go crazy.

2) I like to learn new moves, be it dance or gymnastic techniques or whatever.

3) Don't you just love it when the lights are on in your school/college/uni, everyone is participating in a sport or activity, there is no stress from studying with energy abound.

4) The people from my team are HILARIOUS!!! hahahah!!! Never a dull moment with them.




You know the song 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus?

This is the epitome of that song.

It was never about the competition day itself. It was about the journey we took to get there.

The sweat, blood, and tears we poured into our routine, our stunts, in preparation for that big day.

The hard work, muscle aches, bruises, fractured bones, sprained body parts.

It was never about the prize, or the glamour, or the competition.

It was about the present, the teamwork and most importantly, the friendship.

*Well, at least for me.*

I will miss you guys so much.

"The past can never be repeated, nor can be be altered, for all that remains in the dusk of our days are the treasured memories of our forgottens. "

Hugz. GO, TAURUS CHEERLEADING 2009!!!!


*BTW, THE SONG IN THE SIDEBAR IS DEDICATED TO ALL CHEERLEADING MEMBERS. I know it's kinda like a love song or wtv, but remember: "They can take the music and the plans we make, but they cannot take our yesterdays."

In no particular order:
Venus Lim, Fion Lam, Loo Wei Wen, Beh Eng Hui, Jason Seng, Ivana, Tracy Khong, Ng Yunn Shuen, Tan Kelly, Chiu Hong, Loon Wei, Naomi Grace, Cady Chua, Wai Peng, Christine, Fong Kin Man, Chan Pei Zhi, Kuang Hau (Sorry, I'm not sure how to spell it, aka Sean Eng), Jones.

Mighty Taurus Stomp Your Yard!

Monday, October 12, 2009

All Around Me

Wake me up when September ends... I still remember the time when that song came out. Tough times. PMR. Addiction. Running through the rain. Beatings. Scolding. Lying.

I just wanted to go to sleep. To wake up only when everything is over.

When September ends.

Now the song blares from my TV, a full cycle of my past. A different time, a different place, a different mindset.

The same me.

All around me, things are not going so well. There are breakdowns and broken hearts, scarred egos and animosity....

Sometimes I wish, everything will go on as smoothly as they did. I wish change did not occur in a way that would disrupt the moderate pace of life.

But it does.

I cannot give you the strength to move on. I cannot lift you up as high as you once did for me.

Forgive my weaknesses.

All I can do is wish, that better days come for you and that you reach out to receive it.

All around me.

All I can do.

Is wish.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Sigh... Good Days Are Never Long

It's great that no one reads this blog. It's not so great when you pour your heart and soul into it only to realize that there ARE people reading it.

As the title goes, good days don't last long. I thought things were at least picking up, maybe improving, not getting worse.

How foolish I was.

It's weird, how sad and melancholic I feel.

It all happened last night. When I was supposed to meet someone... but that person didn't turn up. I couldn't have cared less if the place was convenient, and a short drive away from my house.

The place was at least a 20 minute drive.

To make matters worse, this outing was a deferment from the previous time when the person asked me to go out for dinner and I rejected.

So in retrospect, the person asked me out, but didn't turn up. FUCK.

Then, I was stuck in a traffic jam coming back after the motherfucker ffk on me.

All in all, I wasted 1 and a half hours driving to and fro for nothing. FUCK.

You know, seriously, please respect people's time. The world does not freakin' revolve around you. FUCK YOU.

The MOTHERFUCKER had NO DECENT COURTESY to reschedule, NOR did he apologize sincerely.

You know what the MOTHERFUCKER had the gall to say?! *when I smsed him at the destination we were supposed to go*

'Oh, I'm still at work. Don't know when I'll be off. Why don't you go home and wait for me?"

Ohhhhh.... There are no vulgar-enough words to describe him now.

WAIT FOR YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS MY FREAKING FOOT YOU SON OF A BITCH, DONKEY'S MOTHER'S ANAL-SPLITTING DICKHEAD! WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOVE THAT INCONSPICUOUS BRAIN UP YOUR SMELLY FUCKTARD SHITHOLE MUTHAFUKA!

KANENABU CHOWCIBAI!

Rot in hell.

So there.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

My Old Blog

One fine day, as I was rearranging my thoughts I suddenly thought about my OLD BLOG that I created when I was... what? Form 4?

Great days then. HAHA

I don't know. Looking back, I realized my posts were a little more diverse and creative with a better English command. They were a pleasure to read, and flowed beautifully.

Unlike now. >=(

Anyway, here's a link>>http://winterbytes.blogspot.com/

And tell me what you think =)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Melancholic Melancholy

When you go, please don't forfeit our yesterdays...

A Short Verse:

Clouds cover the sky we once shamelessly painted
with our passion, our love,
our desires
As raindrops caress the murals we once held hands to create,
memories run, as do the tears.
For the sky breeds a melancholy
That only the heavens could make
For the sky breeds a sadness
Only the earth can take.
We seep our spirits within the crack of our souls
Yet forget about the huge hole in our hearts

Where does it all go?

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Diary of AnnaLisa

I'll be starting the diary of AnnaLisa, a fictional character in which she rants about her daily life. I hope you guys enjoy it, and give constructive criticisms. =)

AnnaLisa is a 19 year old girl living in a world that is not too rich, yet not too poor. She lives in the made-up city of Border Bordeux somewhere in an economically developing country with her alcoholic abusive mother and sex-addicted always-gone father.

She goes to community college and her best friend is Kourtney, a closeted fat closeted lesbian. She has a rabbit named Pussy and a turtle she calls Head.

The diary entries are her expression of life and things happening around her.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Yesterday

There is a beautiful chorus in the song Yesterday by Leona Lewis that I feel I must share with everyone.

"They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they take the music that we'll never play,
all the
broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday.

They can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday. "


I only have one word to say. BEAUTIFUL.

Listen to the song, and make your own deductions.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Do You Believe in Religion?

I named this post 'Do You Believe in Religion?' as opposed to 'Do you believe in God/Afterlife/Human soul?' due to the fact that religion is the only close-to-spiritual thing we can believe in.

We cannot believe in God, nor can we dispel the notion that God exists. Hence, we cannot choose whether to trust the existence of a divine power. That would be the equivalent of assuming a random house on the street owns a TV. Sure, you have one, so do your grandparents, and your aunts and uncles, your brothers and sisters. But you'll never know the truth, until you walk through that door and look around.

So, my main question is, do you believe in religion? Not faith, as faith stems from belief, which I am trying to uncover in you upon your religion. But religion.

Do you have faith in your religion?

And if so, WHY?

This is probably gonna label me an atheist, but I just have to get this off my chest. Religion is man-made. Religious books, paraphernalia, statuettes, ceremonies, chants. All of these 'holy' stuff were shaped by the hands on men. Of men like you and me. Living breathing men.

What makes these... I dunno how to put it... trends, maybe? become so inculcated with religious fervor, that tens of millions of people hang on to every move, every word, every item? Doesn't that holy statue you just worshipped have the same status as the laptop I'm using, or the pen I just wrote with. They share a common theme. They were all made BY MEN, FOR MEN.

Religion obviously teaches a person to do good. The ten commandments is an example. However, is that it? A moral class?

Is religion nothing but an awful old wives tale meant to scare little kids, or in this case, whole societies, to be good? Hell, Satan, sins, redemption. Why? A merit system, more the like.

Sigh... suffice to say, I'm not a very religious person. I don't go to church, I don't say grace, I like Christmas because it's a holiday.

A friend of mine once asked me which division I am when i told him I am a Christian. I thought he was asking me where was my church located, so I answered "Probably SS2. I don't go there often". To him now, I'm probably a Satanist.

Haha, just exaggerating.

But yeah. Those are my views on religion, and if you don't agree, that's fine. To me, religion lies within yourself. And if you can make peace with who your are, and find your inner strength, then that should be your religion. As they say, your body is a temple.

Now, how about a little spa and massage for my temple?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

There's Always Gonna Be Another Mountain...

To tell the truth, I have no idea how I feel.

It's funny, since I've been in a sombre mood ever since the performance. Am I disappointed? Maybe. Embarrassed? Probably. Sad? I don't see why not.

I feel partly responsible for our team losing, because I danced out of the box and crossed the tape line. Maybe that was why the judges axed some of our marks. Then I kinda forgot the routine and went blank for awhile, and forgot to kneel during the 'hand part' ( I dunno how to describe that genre of dance, haha).

Furthermore, I was shaking and sweating like MAD! ALL THE PRESSURE!! ARGHH!!!!

However, I should give credit to the people that work so hard to make all of this happen. All my group members, Lisa, Wei Guang, Tracy, Siew Theng ( I dunno whether it's spelled right....), Amy, Wei Jian and Julia (although she didn't dance because of a dislocated shoulder) put a lot into the routine, spent so much time and effort and passion to make it a success, it's hard not to feel proud of their accomplishment.

We did not win. Not even close. But it's not really our fault too.

I'm not trying to make excuses, but we had limited practice, since we only started choreographing everything two weeks ago, so it was kinda like a 'rushed project'.

And really, we are a fresh team. The other teams have probably been working together for months, even years. To get where we are now is a real accomplishment.

The funny thing is, everyone is good at something, and I mean REALLY GOOD. Siew Theng and Amy can dance very very gracefully, with power and poise. Thumbs up to them.

Wei Jian can... I dunno... 'swing' nunchuks? Do you swing them? I have no idea... Maybe you fling them... haha. But that's a rare talent you see nowadays. Not many people can do that, but he can. KUDOS TO HIM TOO!

Lisa is a very good hip-hop dancer. The way she moves and position her body is top-notch, and her choreography is conceptualised with a modern twist. She can bring out her dances very well.

Wei Guang is great at dancing too, but in a different way. More of a popping-locking bboy kinda style. And he can come up with very cool moves in a short period of time. TALENTED!

Tracy is great at posing, and she picks up the routines quite fast ( compared to me... like a damn hippo...). And she has a really nice Adidas jacket!

All in all, I think we make a great team. Obviously I'm not good in anything. But hey, this is my first time choreographing a dance PLUS performing in front of an audience. Gimme a break! Hehehe ( Actually quite proud of myself for doing this. Luckily I did not pass out of fright!)

Anyway, if they had given us another week, we'll blow your socks off.

"If at first you don't succeed, try try again."

IMU, just you wait and see.

Monday, August 31, 2009

So diappointed...

I admit I'm not a dancer.

Never in my life have I attempted to prance or twirl as much as I did in the past one week. My thighs hurt soooo bad I can barely walk down the stairs.

Yet after so much hard work, my dancing doesn't seem to be getting any better. I reviewed my dance just now, and it totally sucks!!!

Hours and hours of working myself to the bone... AND IT STILL SUCKS!!!!!!!!

OMG.... can someone just kill me...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Where Do We All Go From Here?

I've always had a soft spot for the song 'Graduation' by Vitamin C. Everytime I listen to it, it just brings back memories of my undredged childhood. Reminiscing about the time that passed me by, how those experiences are what they are, just memories in the deluge of my past.

Sometimes I look around at my friends, and I wonder. Where will we be 10 years from now?

Will we still be friends?

Will we still laugh at the same jokes, eat at the same table, share the same secrets?

Can we?

The experience of life lies within the unknown, but it is so hard to comprehend that all you hold dear to you now, may cease to exist within the blink of an eye.

Perpetualilty embeds itself in those that resist change, and with it trails the footsteps of their demise.

At times, I have to resist the urge to tell everyone around me how much I love them, because nothing is everlasting. Eventually, we will lead our own lives and follow our own paths. Our destinies may not entwine together, yet our journey significantly crosses roads.

Companions at a certain point, till death or sickness robs us of our ability to recollect, we are conjoined by the truth of time we spent together.

Most of us live in the future, or dwell within the past. How many are able to exist in the moment, the present, and cherish all that is around you.

Maybe in the next 10 years, we will be all over the world. We won't recognise each other as we pass each other by on the street. Maybe our jokes won't be funny, out lives uneventful, our problems so choking it seems to rob us of any social semblance.

Maybe, we won't be friends.

However the end may be, the present will still always exist. So as we continue on this personal journey we share with many others, just take some time off to stop thinking about your destination or the path you just followed. Take some time to look around, and stare into the eyes of those holding your hand when you stumble.

Nothing in this world ever lasts. So live it and appreciate it for what it is today.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Sigh... It's inevitable that this blog is turning into a darker shade of gloom with every post. Compared to my previous blog(s), this one has to top the list for being the least cheerful and most sincere.

I'm a very funny person. Not funny as in haha-laugh out loud 'funny', but 'funny' as in weird, unpredictable, castoff 'funny'. I don't know, maybe it's my genes. Maybe I take after my mom.

Anyway... Sometimes I feel life doesn't work out the way I expect it to be, which is fine! I get it. Life is unfair, life is a challenge waiting to be unearthed, life progresses within the expectant and dies within the faithless.

Disenchanted. Yes, that's the word! It's okay to not have everything in life, to not succeed in everything you do. But to this extent?!

Whatever. I'm fed up anyway.

Lemme tell you something. I'm just as good as the next person. I have a pair of arms, a pair of legs, a pair of eyes and perfectly good hands. I can do anything you can do. Maybe even better!

You are obviously under no qualification to determine what I should or should NOT be doing. Hell, wasting manpower is the worst waste of resources EVER!

Leaders do NOT allow useful hands to go to waste. Leaders do NOT expend the time of others while leaving them in the dark in spite of their duty. Leaders do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT!! delegate nothing to people that can obviously contribute much.

I know I'm not perfect, nor am I preaching so. All I'm asking is, put me to a task, and let me accomplish it. Don't pull the mat out from under me. It's unfair and a total waste of time and energy.

Gosh.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Heh. I've been getting quite comfortable writing stuff on my blog, since no one ever looks at it anyway, and it's a chance for me to practice jotting down my thoughts (which are all OVER the place recently).

Today, I'm going to talk about life.

For decades upon millenia, religion has been classifying life as a sacred vessel set upon the forces of divinity that exists solely to serve a higher purpose, or God, for that matter. Religion believes in souls, redemption and ultimately eternal existance. Which means, as people die, their essence is channeled to a vortex of mortal worship where they simply exist, and 'be'. Obviously, no accurate personal experiences of this netherregion has ever been accepted, albeit many have been reported.

Why is that so?

This brings us back to science. Science decodes life as "The property or quality that distinguishes living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate matter, manifested in functions such as metabolism, growth, reproduction, and response to stimuli or adaptation to the environment originating from within the organism." In layman's terms, if you move, you live.

Now, I'm not a biologist with fancy titles and glossy certificates hung over my wall. But I can tell you this. WE ARE NOT SPECIAL.

Everytime I google 'meaning of life', I get links to philosophical sites claiming and/or guiding and/or dismissing the minute arbitraries of life. What is our purpose on this earth? Is there a God? Why are we here?

Our brain is a very powerful organ, to describe it lightly. Launching nuclear warheads, commiting acts of detestable violence, decimating an entire planet into near smithereens just through consumer consumption... our brains? Been there, done that. The human brain itself is capable of creating dastardly brilliant devices, fit for the continual survival of its host's body. Invent a global system of interconnected computer networks that allow rapid (in milliseconds) transfer of information across two opposite poles of the planet? Check. An explosive device with the ability to exterminate 70% of the world's population if launched simultaneously, that obtains its destructive properties from the fission or fusion of minute atoms? Check. What else? Pollution? Check. Global warming? Check too.

You see?

We are not special. There is nothing enlightening about the human race. We weren't a breakthrough in the Creation of Earth.

We are just a quirk in the evolutionary line. While whales got enlarged hearts and lungs, elephants have gigantic front teeth, us humans obtained an engorged cranial organ.

Does this warrant us interspecies bigots to channel the aura of the priviledged? Who are we to decimate the simplicity of life, with narcissistic tendencies. If we have souls, so do the thousands of lives we each take away everyday. The ant you stepped on, the chicken you just ate, the weed you just poisoned.

So think about it. Are we any different from the other lifeforms on this planet? Do we necessarily have a pupose in life? Bottom line, we think of ourselves too highly. Oftentimes slogans such as " Only we (meaning humans) have the power to save the earth/ monkeys/ donkeys/ whatever species require saving/ corporate giants" subliminally appear in the various media forms.

Perhaps we should start saving the world from ourselves.

Friday, August 7, 2009

What a horrible week!

Today during physiology class, we learnt about the female reproductive system, with its follicles and luteums in all its glory.

I'm sorry to say this, but am I glad I'm a guy!

I can't stand to have bodily fluids of assorted colours, clarity and VISCOSITY (OMG!!!!) coming out of me every month. I'm not masochistic. I just have a weak stomach.

Now, obviously menstruation follows a monthly cycle of... I dunno... 28 days? (Although if you think about it, you'll come short at the end of the year and have an extra cycle to boot! ARGH, DAMMIT!) And during this time, women will experience various cravings, mood swings and, if I may say so myself, preference.

But that is not the point.

The point I am trying to come to is the PMS, or pre-menstrual symptom that some (and I say that VERY LIGHTLY... IF NOT 'ALL') women experience. Oh, you'll know it when they come to. All the bitching, and/or flirting, sudden exhiliration and then deep depression. Rudeness, being obnoxious, less regard for people's feelings, feminism... THE LIST GOES ON!

My point is, guys do have that too. Again, I apologize, but yes, guys do experience some PMSyndrome, although in their case it's not 'PRE-MENSTRUAL' exactly, more like a mood swing, since men don't menstruate (that would be silly), but can be characterized in a somewhat similar fashion. You get my drift.

Which leads us back to where this post is going to.

I HAD A FREAKIN' PMSing, POST MENOPAUSAL, HOT FLASH + NIGHT CHILLS WEEK!

Maybe it's hormones, maybe my bipolar disorder is acting up again. Basically I felt rotten, absolutely ROTTEN, I tell ya!

For the past five days, I have been trudging in to classes, so drained of life, feeling lethargic and anaemic (just a metaphor). Sometimes being quite rude to my friends, having no interest in lessons AT ALL, and just feeling sooooo tired.

I dunno. Maybe it's just a bad week. Or maybe.... a huge comet that would obliterate the entire human race is heading straight to earth, emitting radioactive frequencies so devastating all satellites are knocked out and oblivious to its presence. Only my highly tuned extra seventh sensory organ is sensitive enough to pick up the coment's vibes, and interpret the impending doom of Man.

But I beg to differ.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

L.O.V.E.

"Lay your head upon my worries,
Open your desires, lest they be my fears,
Vest your hopes within uncertainty,
Eventually I'll be there to dry your tears."

This is a short poem I made up in half a minute, and I find it pretty meaningful.

When you step into love, you carry the burden of the other person too.

You learn to accept who they are, eventhough their essence may clash with your values.

You pour your soul into something so intangible and fragile, the risk is unbearable.

And yet, for a moment so tender, you draw even.




Maybe it's just me, call me a cynic. I don't believe in love. I believe in responsibility, guilt and welfare, but never love.

Why?

Because it's an emotion. Because it's human. Too much has been invested into something so... what's the word... BOURGEOIS. INSIGNIFICANT. FALLIBLE.

Please. Love is simple biology. Chemicals in your brain. Neuroscience, chemistry.

I can take 'love' away from you as easily as I can give it to you.

Chocolates do the same thing. So do cigarettes, alcohol and crystal meth. No wonder people are addicted to these things.

So there.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Weird, Weird, Weird.

Sigh... it's gonna be near midnight by the time I finish this post, but I feel like I have to get some things off my chest.


NUMERO UNO: DEATH OF MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON.

Oh my God!!!! Why did you have to go?!

Michael, you always will be the King of Pop, your immeasurable presence on-screen and on-stage can never be compared to any performer that ever existed in the entire history of mankind. Your legacy lives on, in the hearts of your fans and the minds of generations to come.

Even though I didn't grow up listening to your music, moonwalking to songs like Billie Jean, Man in the Mirror, Beat It or Thriller, you, Michael, you were always there.

If ever an ultimate pop icon referral was needed, 'Michael Jackson' was always the most appropriate thing to say. If ever friends needed to find something musically in common, your beats were the only thing everyone could agree on.

You, Sir, are irreplaceable.

Much hype has been abound since your death on June 25th, 2009, and I have jumped on the bandwagon just to prepare myself, armed with up-to-date knowledge.

Since then, I have only one thing to say.

You, Sir. YOU ARE CERTAINLY THE GREATEST PERFORMER THAT EVER LIVED.

Your music, is beautiful. I have never felt so connected to sound so pure. Songs like Ben and I'll Be There, Heal the World... They touched my soul.

As such, I regret wholly and truly, for I have never been a fan until today. That I have been so blind, oblivious and impervious to such beauty that lies within your songs, it is unfathomable.

Michael Joseph Jackson, the world mourns your passing, but be well, for your legacy shall go on for millenia to come.




NUMBER TWO: I CAN'T FREAKIN' REST MY MIND!!!

If I go to bed now, I will have barely around 6 hours of sleep before I have to haul my ass up to the hospital the next day for a checkup.

Then it's classes to 1, until which I will probably be out until 4 pm. Then I will have my practical report to finish, bla bla bla.

It's not as hectic as before, although I would prefer it to be. Perhaps I should sign up for more voluntary work...?

Nah, it's late, I'm disorientated, confused even. Tomorrow will probably pass by as easy as a summer's breeze. Till then, I have a restless brain to quell, and some emotional baggage to let down.

Wish me luck ;)

No Surprise Daughtry

I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why...

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow

God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no, as no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this, it's easier to see the reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Dedication To The People Around Me - About Me

I'm sorry.

I know I've never been the person you've wanted me to be. I know I can never live up to your expectations. Maybe life is too hard, maybe life is too complex, or maybe life would be better without its intricacies.

Whichever, I have let all of you down.

I have been selfish, no doubt. Always chasing after things I do not own. Not appreciating those that I already have. Relegating the most important ones to the backseat.

I have hurt so many people in the process. Disappointment reigning in my foolish wake, for the search of something immaterial.

I am so so sorry...

Maybe things were never meant to be, or that life has another hand dealt for me, for you, for them, for us. Maybe, maybe. But we can only wish.

I can only wish I haven't screwed up the lives of so many. I can only wish I wasn't such a burden, a defect... but wishes are only false faiths of those felled...

Time has honestly passed us by, seconds by minutes, hours to days, months, years. If things weren't meant to be, probably they never will, and I apologize for your time lost.

I'm sorry.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

If U Seek Amy.... Tonight!


La la la la la la la...

Oh baby baby have you seen Amy tonight?
Is she in the bathroom? Is she smokin up outside? Ouuh
Oh baby baby does she take a piece of lime
For the drink that I’ma buy her
Do you know just what she likes?

Oh oh
Tell me have you seen her
Cuz I’m so, oh oh
I can’t get her out of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can somebody take me home?
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

[Chorus]
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me

La la la la la la la la..

Amy told me that's shes gonna meet me up
I don’t know where or when and now their closing up the club Ouuuh
I’ve seen her once or twice before she knows my face
But its hard to see with all the people standing in the way ouuuh

Oh oh
Tell me have you seen her cuz I’m so oh
I can’t get her off of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can't somebody take me home
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

[Chorus]
Say what you want about me
Oh but can’t you see what I see
Yeaaah say what you want about me (about me, about me)

So tell me if you see her
(if you knew what she was wearing and what she was like)
Cause I’ve been waiting here forever
(if you knew if she was going out of line)
Oh baby baby If U Seek Amy Tonight
Oh baby baby we’ll do whatever you like
Oh baby baby baby
Oh baby baby baby

La la la la la la la la...

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy

[Chorus]


Isn't this song great?


Saturday, March 21, 2009

Special Emo Post

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT CONTAIN SARCASM-COATED EXPLETIVES AND MAY CAUSE EXTREME DEPRESSION FOLLOWED BY A DESIRE TO NOT LIVE AND WITHDRAW FROM SOCIETY. READER DISCRETION ADVISED.


Emo, emo, emo. So darn emotional. Am I a guy or what?

Damn social conducts. Always expecting one role from another. Always dictating, always condemning, stifling self-expression and individuality.


I HATE YOU, STEREOTYPES!


Placing people into little boxes, easy to label. Any mismatches and they go down your chute of rejects.

Where do they end up?

At the bottom pile of society, that is. Bottom-feeders and untouchables. That's what you have brought us to!


I HATE YOU, STEREOTYPES!


I have a dream, I have a dream, that one day, we can all stand up and understand our differences, embrace the diversity that make each and every one of us special.

And that, we, as an evolving dynamic society, open our minds and NOT, I repeat, NOT pass judgment on others just because they do not conform to your normalcy.


ALL HAIL INDIVIDUALISM!!!!



*Okay, I admit this is not an emo post. But I kinda like the 'WARNING' at the beginning, so what the heck. Sue me.