Fat Cats Live in My Abs

I believe that deep within the sub-organ packages of my anatomy, lie busty felines ready to pounce.

Fat cats live in my abs.

THAT'S right. Cats in my abs. Fat ones, nonetheless.

'But that makes no sense, there's no logic to it!'
'Oh, it is medically impossible'
'You're just making up stupid titles to get people to read your lame ass blog!'
'Mine is a dog.'

Oooohh, I can just hear all your mocking, that perverse whiny little Humbug that pervades your sick mentality. It just raucously complains and whines and gripes within your cranium, and you're obliged to follow suit. Another cog in the SOB MACHINE.

Well, plug it sister. First of all, there is logic to it, since I'm hearing it meow in hunger RIGHT THIS MOMENT (And if you would kindly place your ear to my tummy, it may graciously set off a hair-raising shriek that will permanently damage your hearing and claw at your already unpalatable face).

AAAAND, I don't make up lame ass titles just so that people will READ my BLOG! *pffffttt!!* now where would you get that idea... haha... my titles are witty... haha... aren't they?.... hahahaha... haha.h..a...ha.... *darnnit!*

By the way, everyone KNOWS that dogs can't live in your stomach. So there. *Snickers* What a DUMBASS!

*roll eyes*

So, annoying grumpy old people aside, some fat ass cats live in my gut. They need to be fed constantly, and in large amounts too! (Since there are seven of them, each morbidly obese with their own individual characteristics.)

One is called Miao, since that's about the only sound she makes, and she claws at my gut lining everytime she gets hungry (which is often, duh!). Her brother is Grrraaahhhh, since THAT'S the sound HE makes when his sister is hungry, which coincidentally makes him hungry too.

The other five are Grrrmmmp, Slish Splash, Gurgle, Uhrrmm and GiokGiok. They do make some noise at times, but are mostly silenced by the siblings, since Miao's and Grraaahhhh's arses take up 95% of leg room in my stomach anyway.

On a sidenote, Slishy doesn't like water. He complains when I drink and jump about, because it messes up his fur. (Yeah, he's the vain one. And probably gay too. Gurgle's always been known to 'back him up'. Get it? 'BACK him up'? *nudgenudgewinkwink*

So there you have it. My costly furry friends that reside within me, and that I have to carry around everywhere I go. Always crying out at the worst times, trying their best to stuff me full with edibles I don't need.

I hate them. >:(



P.S the cute emoticon above is an angry face. Can you see it? The cute > for a frown and the eyes, and the mouth. It's adorable right? haha.